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Fic: A Wrench to the Heart 25/?

A Wrench to the Heart 25/?

By Max

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.

Note: Continuity... Mercy’s last name is Reigh.

I'd like to think I'm powerful. You know, kick the doors down, save everyone I love and happy ever after.

I make mistakes.

So, fuck ton long ago, like right after the wars when Preventers was hot to have what help they could get, they had me seeing this therapist... She was like.., the truth will set you free. If I could just find all the trauma and face it, release it, then I'd find...okay...whatever the hell okay is.

That was some bad bullshit. But now... I just killed the shit out of my first trauma and ripped out teeth before the dude was dead and ... Nothing. I fucking wasted almost three hundred years when what I should have been doing was thinking about Heero and loving the kids, building cars, doing good things.... All this focus on the past was digging my own fucking grave.

Being okay is laying here with Heero Yuy’s arms around me, even if I don't really know if he’s real or not. “Still real?”

“Ee,” Heero agreed. “How are you feeling?”

“Ashamed,” Shini said, “Stupid, hung over, did I mention stupid? My leg feels ..odd.”

“It's in a cast,” Heero explained. “Broken femur. You've been out for a week, mostly.  We're safe. Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay.”

Shini cuddled back against Heero. “How the hell do we get home?”

“One day at a time,” Heero said. “We can’t die and respawn because your mind file is unique. Also there isn’t enough energy to respawn anyway. We need to show up with massive reserves. We have a lot of work to do.”

“Two hundred and fifty years? Fuck, ‘Ro... We’re both like two. I’m out there starving and there isn’t shit I can do about it.”

Heero kissed his ear, nuzzled him. “You don’t starve. We are not going to disturb time more than we already have, however,” Heero said, hinting at some surprise that would make things better.

Shini tried to roll over, found his leg heavy and awkward, so Heero moved over to the other side. He ran fingers through clean and dry bangs. “How would you like to be richer than Quatre? Make a Camelot University so anyone can come and study the world you built and learn and take it home to their worlds?”

Dark violet eyes narrowed. One opened wider, an eyebrow rising. “Richer than Quatre, you say? Rich enough that I could pay him back for building Camelot?”

“I’m not sure that he’d like that, but that is something we could see about. We need to get a ship, get far enough away from all the colonies that we can do some mining and energy production.”

“I... I want to build a great ship.. Something magnificent to show back up with. Something legendary. And,” Shini said, voice lowering as he rubbed his face against Heero’s chest, “I don’t want to kill anymore. I’ve just lost the taste for it.”

“I know that feeling. I think you’ve always leaned that way. That’s why you went to medical school. You’re a very good doctor, when you want to be.”

“I’m not. Duo’s a good doctor. Medical school just made me a better killer.” Shinigami took a long slow breath, eyes searching Heero’s. “Do you think Duo can forgive me? What if he hates me? What if he wants me to die?” He closed his eyes then, not wanting to see whatever expression Heero might have.

“Look at me,” Heero gently commanded.

“Mah eyes burn.”

“Because you’re crying. Open your eyes,” Heero urged him, “Shini.”

He sniffed, then wiped at tears. “I’m selfish and he doesn't... he’s going to be disgusted by me and don’t tell me that you know me better than me... I know what’s in Duo’s head better than you do.”

“That’s true,” Heero agreed. “So Duo really doesn’t know about you? He doesn’t suspect? How does he account for the lost time?”

“Uh, well, in the war, he just thought he was insane, which I guess, we kinda are. After the war, I wasn’t very active when he was a Preventer doctor. When he’s happy, I just kind of ... sleep, but after The Rage, we started taking Novo and we both lost time.  He’s been so sick the last few decades - I think he just thinks it’s the hole in his head.”

“I can see how he’d see it that way,” Heero agreed. “I know that I have always talked to you as if you’re a different person than Duo. It seemed like you wanted it that way. I know I don’t know you as well as you know Duo. I haven’t lived inside your head, but I have known you both for a very long time. I have known you both when you’re manic and sick, depressed, murderous, horny as hell, with the flu, gunshot wounds, when you haven’t slept for 48 hours. I knew you as a skinny 15 year old who knew you were going to die. I knew you as a great pilot. I knew you as a shy man who couldn’t tell me you were gay for half a decade, even though we’d already had sex in the war. I know you, both of you, and you are the same person. You’re not going to be fully functional without him and he isn’t going to be without you. If it works for you not to tell him your history, then just rejoin and don’t tell him. When the time is right, you will talk to each other. But no matter how that goes, we have time and we need to get energy to save the colony and we need to figure out what happened on The Rage.”

“God, Heero. That was a lot of words,” Shini teased. “Maybe you are becoming like me.”

Heero touched a fingertip to Shini’s nose. “I learned from the best. It’s going to be six weeks before we can do much more than plan though. So I got us some video games.”


“Really. I have nothing whatsoever against digital blood.”


Earlier on the day Heero went back in time...

Duo Maxwell stared at his mother, feet hanging over the edge of the bed, violet eyes on fire. “What. Did. You. Do?”

“Don’t speak to me that way,” she hissed back, her own violet eyes narrow and sharp. “I am your mother.”

“I just fucking met you. I don’t know you,” Duo snarled back. “As your fucking patient, I want to know what you did? God... I can feel it. You played in my head.”

“As your doctor, I repaired a wound you had in brain. I’m sorry the computer system was down, but I was afraid that with its location your body functions might begin to fail.”

“You had no right,” Duo said, shoulders slumping. “You don’t know what you’ve done!” Duo covered his face. “You can’t just mess with another person’s data. You have to have permission and be impartial! That’s why Galen or another AI does it. Galen, show me a scan of my brain.”

Galen held up his palm and a small 3D simulation of Duo’s neural patterning appeared. It didn’t look like a physical brain, but more like a rainbow dandelion puff layered on other puffs of rainbow dandelion. Duo touched it and slowly turned it. “You completely obliterated it.”

“You mean the brain tumor that was killing you? Yes, I did. You’re welcome,” she snapped angrily.

“My god! You are a cocky sonofabitch!”

Teeth on edge, she leaned forward. Her nose wrinkled, violet eyes dancing with anger. “Well, you’d know, wouldn’t you? You have children, Dayton Reigh! You’re about to get married. Do you think you homosexual boyfriend is going to take care of all these children if you fall over dead?”

Duo straightened up, his hair standing on end. “What the hell does that mean? Homosexual? And my name is DUO MAXWELL. Don’t make me tell ya again! Galen! Where’s Heero?”

“He is standing next to you, one meter to the left.” Galen frowned. “Don’t you hear him?”

Terror clawed over denial, sending ache slowly up the back of Duo’s head, a black hole into his belly. The hair stood up on his head as he turned to look at where Galen said Heero was. “Heero?”

“He says that without you adding more energy into the system, we would have started having life support malfunctions. Whatever else Dr. Reigh may have done, she saved lives by waking you.”

“Heero’s always been way more practical than I am,” Duo said. “I can’t see him or hear him. My data is more corrupt than ever.”

Heero’s hand brushed over his face, brushing his bangs back and then Heero’s lips touched his. When he closed his eyes, it was normal, a sweet safe kiss and all that was right with the world.

Duo kept his eyes closed as he walked out of the tent Mercy was using for a hospital. He kept his hold on Heero’s hand. Camelot’s internal sun felt warm on his face and the shadows from the pines around his camp ground gave contrast. The hole in his soul spread to the edge of his being, made the warmth of the sun cold and what warmth in him that remained slipped down his face. Sound bubbled up, instinctive and beyond control, sobbing like a wounded creature, he felt Heero’s arms wrap around him. The embrace felt so distant and removed, but constant. Other touches joined. Slowly he identified the hands on him, Julia, Jacob, Saphron, Roy, Charlotte....

The raging empty filled in, a little like dawn creeping up over the edge of darkness and he reached out to them, touching, hugging, crying, wiping tears away and he didn’t know what people were saying in that moment, but someone said something and whatever it was, it was funny as hell. Heero’s arm lay on his shoulder and he knew he was there. It was a little like all the years when he’d thought Heero was alive and everyone else thought he was dead, except now everyone else could see him.

Once they got to the camp fire, he realized how many other people where there. Most of the town had come up to the campsite, calm, but expectant.

Duo ran a hand through his hair, bunching up his bangs, and that hole in his soul was so gone, filled to overflowing with responsibility and caring for his people. A disembodied Galen started whispering energy and colony status stats in his ear and he gave himself over to planning for the colony’s survival. Under normal circumstances, he would have just had Galen build him a platform to speak from, but he couldn’t waste the energy. “Heero, can I stand on your shoulders for a moment or two?”

“Ee,” Heero agreed, boosting Duo up to his shoulders.

“Hey! Everyone!” He yelled and it took a moment to start getting everyone’s attention. “Galen, broadcast me, whole colony.”

“Interlevels as well?” Galen whispered in his ear.

‘We’re gonna have ta talk about that. That’s real? Shit. Shit,’ Duo thought, knowing Galen would hear him. ‘Yeah, them too.’

“People of Camelot! The colony is stable. Life support is restored to minimal comfort in all regions. We were attacked and suffered massive energy depletion. We are safe. We suffered no loss of life.  Please keep energy usage to a bare minimum. Oh yeah, and I’m gettin married. If anyone suffered any injuries in the attack or the brief low energy period, we have a medical tent set up. Dr. Mercy Reigh will be happy to assist. You’all got any questions?”

Megs raised her hand.

Duo pointed to her.

“Are we expecting aide to arrive? Also, if the Earthsphere isn’t going to give aide, are you afraid they’ll make this an opportunity to force us to register?” She clenched her jaw, pupils narrow little slits.

“I don’t know if we’re going to get aide, but we’ll be okay. We’ll figure something out. Earth ain’t showing up here to force us to do shit. We got three gundam pilots on this colony. They remember what that oppression shit got them last time.”

Angela raised her hand, tentative.

Duo pointed at her.

“Perhaps L4 can render aide? As the energy levels are stable, we should get the kids back in school,” Angela said. “Keeping life normal will help us recover.”

“Agreed. The school building is safe. Tomorrow, school resumes.”

“Me me!” Julia said, jumping up and down in her body that looked just like Duo’s. “I get to go to school now! Saphron said!”

“Saphron doesn't make those choices,” Duo said, “Go speak nicely to Ms. Andie. She’ll decide if you can go to school.”

“Okay!” Julia said.

Duo was duly disturbed by his own face smiling back at him, framed in pink pigtails. It made the hair on the back of his neck do a funny little dance. He mentally shot Andie an email letting her know that Juju was about six mentally and unlikely to get much older, but that due to current physical circumstances homeschooling might not longer be a good option.  And on that though, he felt reckless and hungry. “Okay! Let’s have a barbeque! I declare it to be summer! We’re going to have a fantastic summer! Hot dogs and burgers for everyone!”

Heero responded to his movements and let him down. Oddly serious, Heero pulled him close, holding him tight. “I love you so much, Duo Maxwell. Nothing will ever change that. I love every part, every facet of you.”

Duo wanted to pull back, remembered he couldn’t see Heero, so he closed his eyes and ran a hand over Heero’s face, ‘seeing’ him in his mind. “I love you too. I’ll get this mental shit figured out. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We just have to keep trying.”

“I know,” Heero agreed.

Mr. Anderson tapped Duo’s shoulder and he turned to get a salute from a young and sharp looking Mr. Anderson. “I’m sorry I got to your house too late to be of much help, Sir.”

Duo let go of Heero, gave a salute back, then grasped his friend’s shoulder. “You were there on time! There’s so much to take care of now. We’ll work together.”

The current of people wanting to talk carried Duo away, into heartbeat of his people. Galen’s food processing was already laying out food, filling the camp ground with the scent of summer, rising the temperature just a little, setting the sky to a darker summer blue.

“Duo,” Galen whispered in his ear, “We are being hailed by two ships, the larger is the Corvi de Circo, owner Trowa Barton. The other is the Black Pearl, owner Dayton Reigh. Both are requesting to render assistance.”

“Hot damn!” Duo yelled, jumping as he clapped. “Assistance is here, Folk! And the circus!”


Lyle Stafford said…
Why did he name himself Dayton reigh?

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