Fic: A Wrench to the Heart 7/?
A Wrench to the Heart 7/?
Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing
Warning: Duo’s having quite a break down. There will be law enforcement.
Duo didn’t actually run all the way to Alexander Tanaka’s house. He caught a public light rail and then a ride share. Nothing moved fast enough. As he ran down the street towards Tanaka’s house, towards Heero’s house... his mind was too filled with light to think clearly. Love made his heart hurt. Reality bent.
The moment he actually laid eyes on Heero’s house, then he wasn’t on the colony at all. He was on the boarding deck of a cruiseliner. There were pretty Japanese lanterns swinging in a virtual breeze and a sweep of Milky Way above them, muted and glittering like it looked through Earth’s atmosphere, though he knew they were boarding off of Main.L1. He was walking backwards swaying his hips to the Hawaiian music and Heero was only a step behind him.
Heero’s hair was longer, pulled into a ponytail. He was taller than wartime Heero, the Heero that Duo normally remembered. Duo knew he’d sank down on the grass in front of Alexander Tanaka’s house and he tried really, really hard to keep aware of both realities. On the lawn, he held his head with both hands, on the boarding deck, he held out both hands to Heero, felt those strong warm hands take his and pull him close.
Heero pulled him close, arms around him, those smooth thin lips against his ear, “My life would not be worth living without you.”
And with that, Duo lost all connection to the lawn, to anything outside of Heero’s arms. “Don’t let me go, Heero. I’m so scared. I think I’m losing my mind.”
“Don’t be afraid,” Heero said, tugging Duo’s braid gently. “This is it. We’re getting married.on this trip. No more politics. No more war. No more interference. Just you and me. We’re going to build a new life.”
Tears ran down his face, which was the lawn experience leeching into the ship experience. “Don’t leave me, Heero. Don’t let me go!”
The boarding deck reached the highest point and Heero turned Duo around, hands on his shoulders. “Don’t be nervous. Everything is going to work out.”
The ship’s name was written in great black and gold letters, elegant and antique-y. “The Rage.”
Duo wanted to fight, dig in his heels, not get on the ship, but he was walking forward, laughing in the one experience, crying in the other. Staff members reached out grab his hands, shaking, welcoming him, “Welcome aboard Dr. Maxwell, Commander Yuy! We’re so happy to have you with us! Congratulations!”
“Are you alright?” Heero asked, much more irritated and matter of fact than the Heero holding onto his shoulders, who he desperately wanted to Heero what Heero was saying. It was important. It was so important. It sounded like... “Soon this will be real,” in Heero’s words, whispered in his ear, but Heero was also picking him up.
“I love you,” Duo whispered.
“Oh, yes, I do remember you,” Heero said as he carried him.
Duo wrapped his arms around Heero’s shoulders, buried his face against Heero’s neck. This was so much better than any memory. “Heero! I found you!”
“Try to stay calm,” Heero said, soothing, authoritarian, confident. “You’re having some kind of seizure. I’ve already called emergency response. They should be here shortly,” Heero continued as he set Duo down on his couch.
“No.. No! I’m not having a seizure. You’re Heero Yuy! I’m Duo Maxwell.”
Heero squatted down in front of him, not trying to get his hands back. “My name is Alexander Tanaka. I teach astronautics at University L1 now. I’m only 45. I’ve never met Duo Maxwell,” Alexander said gently. “You were here twenty years ago and I remember you from that. You look exactly the same.”
“Technology and medical science,” Duo said, feeling grounded now, some sense of wholeness returning to him. He reached out very cautiously to touch a small scar on Heero’s face. “I gave you that, but you don’t remember, do you? Do remember being on The Rage?”
Alexander leaned into Duo’s touch, just slightly, blue eyes confused. “I was on The Rage. It was a graduation present from my dad. My parents are coming up next week, from Tokyo.Earth to celebrate my promotion. I’m really sorry that I’m not the man you’re looking. Anyone would be lucky to have you look at them with that much love.”
“But... you are,” Duo said scooting a little closer. “Look.. we were both on The Rage. I remember being on it with you. Something happened on that ship. Come to Camelot.L2. You can teach there. You’ll remember.”
Alexander stood up and took a step back. “After you came the last time, I looked up Heero Yuy’s life. He had a miserable life. He was deranged and suicidal. I have family. I have a nephew. I don’t have nightmares. I don’t take dangerous jobs. I bicycle to work and lecture intelligent students. I’m not Heero Yuy. I’ve never killed anyone. I’ve never piloted a Gundam. I’m Professor Alexander Tanaka and there is no way I’d move into the L2 cluster,” he said, wrinkling his nose.
“Well...what I stayed here with you for a little while? I’ll call you Alexander? I can get a job. I’m a doctor. I can get my license back. We can...date?”
“I would like you to consider that you’re stalking me. I think you might be schizophrenic. You need help, not a date. Look, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I’d like it if you didn’t come back to my house. I have a good life. You should go have a good life. Your Heero wouldn’t want you to chase after ghosts.”
“You’re wrong,” Duo said, trying really hard not to cry. “Maybe you’re not my Heero. My Heero would know that I would never stop looking for him. I would never abandon him, even if he asked me to. My Heero would never give up on who he was to live a comfortable lie.”
“I’m not your Heero,” Alexander said apologetically. “I kind of wish I was.”
Duo stood up, willing his body to be relaxed, non-threatening. Heero had often been a bit jump at times of stress. “Kiss me.”
“What?” Alexander asked, arching an eyebrow in a very Heero sign of irritation.
“I said... kiss me. You’re not Heero and it won’t make any difference, right? You know you want to,” Duo said, cajoling just the way that used to work so well with Heero.”
Alexander took a small step closer, a bit more color in his face. “Why would I kiss you? I don’t want to take advantage of you when you clearly are mentally unstable,” but he kept moving closer as he spoke until his last words were spoken brushing against Duo’s lips.
Duo held perfectly still as if a butterfly were landing on his lips. An electric butterfly. He hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes until their lips touched and both of them had their wide open, blue into violet. Alexander’s hand flew into Duo’s hair, fingers sinking into the warm brown tangles left from racing halfway across the colony. Those fingers pressed, pulling Duo to him and the kiss that started out a brush of butterfly turned into a shooting star, burning into each other as their tongues caressed, danced, so familiar....
Euphoria breathed into Duo’s being, a joy at coming home, that all the wishes he’d ever had were fulfilled. Heero’s kiss, touch, acceptance. Another flashback hit him like ice water and he went limp in Heero’s arms. They were in the stateroom... beautiful room... surreal. Heero smiled, this loving beautiful smile. “I didn’t know you... actually liked me back.”
Everything was so out of joint, so crazy... but instead of responding to Heero’s admission, Duo spun towards their stateroom door, his hand on a pistol holstered at the small of his back. The doorknob rattled and then he screamed. The scream filled Alexander’s little house until Duo ran out of breath. Shaking hard, he was only still on his feet because of Heero’s hands on his arms.
“Your eyes are bleeding,” Heero/Alexander said horrified.
“Cool,” Duo whispered before passing out.
Alexander paced in the insane man’s hospital room. L1 was not charitable, per se. L1 used a market economy and they expected to be paid in currency. The bursar’s office for Camelot.L2 which was officially listed as an educational station, offered payment in natural natural resources, freshly mined or synthesized. Apparently Duo’s weight in gold was not sufficient to pay for his medical care. The hospital administrator had made it abundantly clear that the moment Alexander walked out of the room or fell asleep, they were putting the illegal alien, whose visa was now well and truly expired, into an emergency medical transport and shooting him back to Camelot.
The deposit that they required to secure Duo’s care required that Alexander take out a mortgage on his house, which to his great surprise, he was actually eager to do. He had no sane way to explain why the care of some deranged savage from the L2 cluster, why this man’s well being mattered to him, but it did. Why it mattered enough to be willing to pay for the man’s well being with his house, he really did not understand. He knew nothing about him, other than he’d found his way to his house twice and made insane claims.
Poor insane man.
Alexander touched fingertips to his lips and remembered that kiss though. It was the first kiss he’d ever had and it felt like a kiss he’d always known. It felt like the kiss he’d been waiting for, why nothing else had ever been good enough to even try.