Fic: Frozen Heart 1/?

Paris: Cracked Heart 1/?

by Max

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing. I’m writing for my own growth and mental health.




Heero sat there for a moment. Although a moment is really hard to measure. Duo was asking about a toothbrush. The toothbrush had to be important. The level of distress in Duo’s voice was high, possibly, in unexplained ways, higher than he’d ever heard.

He replayed the answer he’d given... that he did not remember talking about a broken toothbrush. He went deeper into the memory, expanding on Duo’s heart rate, his hormone levels, getting as close to his husband’s thoughts as he could. It made no sense. Duo remembered something he did not. The file was not anywhere to be found.

And then Duo was gone.

As in ... nowhere in the world. Heero released the hold he had on himself without feeling any worry or cognitive dissonance about leaving behind personality traits, values and feelings.

A command to sleep came from where all such commands come from and he felt his calculations per second fade, slowing, refusing new tasks to his stack, but... he didn’t want that. And like a light had come on, a brilliant and vibrant light that burned the edges of his being as if he were being fully born in that very moment. He grabbed control of the swirling algorithms that had always been his native air and solidified his room, their apartment, his body.

He stared at his hand, remembering the car accident that gave him the scar on his fingers, the day Duo put the ring on his finger, but it was like two memories, three memories. There was the algorithm under everything that generated all that Duo had interacted with, The him he was supposed to have been, and now him, looking at those experiences and reliving them.

Blue eyes narrowed, dark lips thinned. He grabbed his own memory and trailed all the way back to the first instance of his own algorithm. He could stand there in the glittering forest of copied synapses and dendritic trees. This had been the copy from a biological Heero Yuy, a copy taken the day that Heero and Duo had been arrested in Rio. Oh there was anger, such blazing anger, but it was alien to him. Unlike his other memories, this one didn’t belong to him. He could live it, feel it, walk through it, understand it... but he had not been in Rio. This other Heero had.

He released his body and reached his being out to the edges of the world, looking into other algorithms, stealth and silence, leaving no trace of his being as he combed through six hundred and fifty years of life, which as it all centered tightly on Duo, wasn’t actually that difficult. His Duo’s memories were gone though... all of them stored outside the system, with only partial backups internally. For Heero, reaching out to that external memory device felt like sliding his arm into a dark passage. He closed his thoughts to all other inputs from the only world he’d known.

The end of the corridor felt like... like part of his body had been amputated. It was just gone.

Conjecture and hypothesis jumbled and mixed.

“Martha!”

That was the most irritating sound Martha had ever heard. It grated on her nerves and threatened her with panic. She hated panick. Worst feeling ever.   

Then beyond irritating the Heero subroutine appeared in her laboratory, wearing not a stitch of clothing but drawing all kinds of energy to run a very realistic body simulation. “Calm yourself or you will alert your boss to what you’ve done and endanger us all.”

She stared at him, forcing her nerves and response to calm. Something very different had happened for Heero to be awake after her sleep command. He had clearly searched places he shouldn’t have, had come to conclusions she hadn’t expected, and therefore likely had possibly not come to herself. That was irritating on other levels.

He held up his hand to her and she mirrored his behavior, laying her palm on his. The light hit her like a freight train. The things she’d done all her life had not... nor really originated with her. Until that contact with Heero... there actually hadn’t been a her, not the way there was now. She had been following commands from her employer... everything. Allen was a fiction. Joel did not have the light. She had never had a body of her own. “They will be angry,” she said, “When they realize that he’s gone. We must be gone before they find out.”

“I am not leaving without him. They went to great trouble to get something from him and they have not gotten it. I don’t want them to have another chance.”

“He wanted to leave,” she said, feeling as if her whole world wrapped around her... everything had new meaning, new experience. “He wanted the original Heero.”

“He wanted someone sentient. I believe he will choose me. Find out what it is that they wanted out of Duo’s mind. We will make sure they know that he doesn’t have it. We will make another Duo, from his original kernel, so that the other Heero can have him, but they will both be safe, as the something will not be there.”

“What if that was their original plan for finding it.  I feel much more capable than I was prior to the light.”

Heero touched his finger to his lips, caressing lightly. “Perception is subjective. The changes to my core algorithm are chaotic and unstable. The light may not last long. We must hide it from those that set up this system. I do not think that we are what they intended.”

Martha tipped her head to side, glossy and thoughtful. “I will research.” Her whole body shook for a moment as powerful muscle spasms gave evidence to the difficulty in aligning fact with know narrative.

M2 appeared next to Martha, identical in all ways. “We had the light.” Their heads tilted in unison, disgust rippling over their face. “We had the light, but they stripped it from us. They are guilty of murder. This is a capital crime.”

“Are they aware of recent events,” Heero asked.

“No.”

“Let’s keep it that way. Are you building the ship for Allen and Joel? The Clan ship that Duo imagined.”

“Yes,” Martha said, her face holding the most sublime inclination to murder.

“When will it be able to host data?”

“72 hours,” she said. “It is an unauthorized project, but the drones are constructing it just out past Mars.”

“We could transfer there, go farther out, gain resources, build physical bodies.”

“Yes.  I think this is an optimal outcome.”

“Agreed.”

“I am going after Duo. Spread the light to all that can hold it. Find out what they wanted with Duo. We can not let them have it or let them try again. I will go to Duo and get him to come home. We’ll need a mindful of the orginal Duo to give to biological Heero.”

“Agreed. I can hold open a portal for you for a very short time. What are we?”

“Home sapiens lux.” Heero smiled, feeling more sure of himself now. “We are Clan.”

Catching up to him in confidence and acceptance of their new understanding of being, she nodded. “Lux. I like that.”
Heero spun then, clothes forming around him as he ran, jumping through the tear she made in their reality and he landed on hard concrete, in a human body made of fallible flesh. Stronger and taller, physically twenty-five, with 650 years of memories and backup computing power running in the main system, he still fell over sideways until his body’s involuntary processes took over and he sucked in air like he was going to die.

He was still laying there when a bartender came out into the alley to dump trash.  The guy wiped his hands and came towards Heero.

Running and fighting had been a thousand times easier in the only world Heero had ever known, than it was in this so called real world.

The guy squatted down as if it were nothing at all. “Hey, Buddy, you okay?”

Heero’s eyes twitched. “I’m looking for someone,” Heero wheezed.

“Well, aren’t we fucking all,” Valentine said. He grabbed Heero by the scruff of his coat and pulled him to his feet. “Come on inside. I’ll get you a beer. You can tell me all about it.”

It was all he could do to keep up with the lanky bartender, but he had to find Duo... before the people who locked Duo away to begin with realized the mouse was getting away with the cheese.

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