fic: Frozen Heart 1/?

Frozen Heart
by Max

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, Bandai does.

Notes: This story is roughly.. ish.. kinda inspired by Frozen Teardrop, ish.. kinda.

Warnings: profanity, PTSD, misunderstandings


A person can talk for hours and not say a damn thing. Duo knew this for a fact, because he’d done it, way too many times. Fuck, he had talked to himself until he didn’t know what he actually thought and felt and about the only thing he hated more than figuring out that he’d lied the fuck out of himself, was waiting.

After the wars, peace had settled in like a pair of boots that would never break in properly.  Everywhere Duo turned there were raw edges. War, if nothing else, took a lot of energy and focus.  Preventers was almost like war, but not really.  All the activity stopped and he melted down. Rage boiled over.  Sleep became rare. Preventers put him on extended paid leave, the world tipped sideways for him.

A job was hard to find and even when he found one, he couldn’t keep it. About the only thing he agreed with just about everyone else on was that he was not cut out for a customer service job in a call center.  Finally a couple bottles of whiskey and a smart mouth put him in the hospital for a month and burned up more of Quatre’s money than Duo was ever going to be comfortable with.

When he woke, Heero was sitting by the bed, looking a lot like he wanted to extend Duo’s stay.

It was just good luck, really. If that look had been any less pissed, it would have read as pity, and Duo’s depression could have turned to real self harm.

Looking back, he should have known then, right at that moment, how much Heero meant to him.  It should have been perfectly obvious that he needed Heero more than he needed anything else in all of existence.

Heero told him to get his shit together.  To be there, he’d taken leave of a project he was working on on Mars and he wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t leaving until Duo was okay.

Eventually they’d started a business together, making games. Heero was surprisingly good at making games. For nearly five years, they’d build things together.

Then Hilde asked him to marry her. It just came out of the blue. He hadn’t seen her in five years and she said she had always been in love with him.

He thought he ought to be in love with her. She was kind and strong, with a thriving business of her own, and she wanted children. She wanted his children.

He’d asked Heero what he thought.

Heero asked him if he was happy.

He said he was and he’d meant it and thinking about that moment, he understood perfectly well that he’d been happy because he was sitting with Heero, looking into those blue eyes, and god fuck him, why he hadn’t understood that then, he didn’t know

The next day Heero was gone.

Just.
Fucking.
Gone.

The business was completely in his name. All of Heero’s money was transferred to his accounts. The house they owned together was transferred to him.

The first week had been numb, just searching, waiting for Heero to come home.

In the second month, Duo flipped out and Wufei had to drag him to the hospital, where he stayed for another couple weeks.

Everything was so easy to see when you knew it already.

Hilde ran ads asking Heero to come back on every news site in the Earthsphere.

Eventually word was had that Heero had allowed himself to be cryopreserved so that he could be available if the people of the Earthsphere needed him again. Duo spent another couple weeks at a very nice support community. He could understand why Heero might not want to be around him. Really. He knew he was a pain in the ass. He couldn’t understand why Heero had ever wanted to be around him, but he had, and Duo wanted that back. It was greedy, but  there was just this whisper that if he’d been able to tell Heero how he felt, maybe Heero won’t have been willing to become an icecube.

He just didn’t believe that Heero’s consciousness had stopped being.

It was as close to believing in god as he’d been in years. Then Wufei promised to find Heero, to use all his contacts as the leader of Chang and as a Preventer’s officer to find Heero.

There is something freeing about realizing that what you want more than anything is something you can’t get for yourself, that you’ve let yourself fade away from being able until only a friend can save you.

Months passed.

Duo was tired of being weak though, tired of being sick. He got his job back at Preventers. His body grew stronger and his mind grew stronger, and at the center of everything was the knowledge of his love for Heero.

On the day that would have been Heero’s 22nd birthday, all bets were off though.

Duo shifted his hands on the bat, smearing a bit more of his blood on the wrapping. He pulled it back over his shoulder, eyed his target. Wearing grey sweat pants, sweat glistened down the line of his spine.  His hands tightened on the bat, rage boiling in violet eyes. The bat hit a heavy bag, stopping it’s sway, sending it back the direction it came. Chains creaked. He growled and pulled the bat back to swing again.

The door behind him slowly swung open. Against the dark hallway, Wufei seemed paler, too beautiful and elegant to be an actual part of the world. He was taller than in the wars, but no wider. Even in a Preventer’s uniform, at first glance, he wasn’t particularly imposing. One might think he was an analyst, a paper wall of an obstacle - until you looked into his eyes. Dark eyes, sharp dark diamonds like a dragon that had already eaten your soul - those eyes were more than imposing. Those eyes watched Duo Maxwell try to beat his heavy bag to death.  “Maxwell.”

Duo spun, bat out like it could double for a katana. “Fuck.”

“If you attempt to hit me with that bat, I will kill you.”

Tension rolled over Duo’s shoulders. He shifted his grip on the bat. He was taller too, but broader - 190 pounds of combat trained muscle with a dose of bat shit mixed in.

Wufei held up a hand and slowly pulled a folded paper from his pocket. “here is the information that I have likely lost my job getting for you.”

“You got it!” The bat dropped to the batted floor with a thunk.  “Fuck! Wu! I owe you everything!”

“You owe me nothing. I do what I do because I wish to. Besides, I swore to Yuy, on my honor, that would look out for you.”

Duo took the paper with both hands, then realized there was fresh blood on that hand, so he wiped his hand on his pants, and then took the paper. “It’s really his location?”

“It is the location where he will enter into cryopreservation in four days. His keepers are unlikely to... welcome you.”

“He’s still awake!” Duo’s face lit up like spring after an ice age. “I knew it!”

“Duo,” Wufei said softly, brow furrowing as he searched for words, “It’s not ... easy.”

“I don’t care. He’s on Earth and I am going to get to him.”

“I can’t come with you,” Wufei said sadly. “Lives depend on me now.”

“I know. It’s okay. You’ve done everything for me. I can get to him myself. Don’t worry.”

“The fact that you can tell me not to worry means I have plenty of grounds for worry. He may not be happy to see you. You have to think about that. He may wish to fulfill this path.”

“I just want him to know there’s another path.” Duo said. He smiled. “I’ll support whatever he wants, but I want him to have all the information first.”

“That seems oddly rational of you,” Wufei agreed. “I must go. If anyone asks me if I gave that to you, I will lie. You understand.”

“Got’cha!” He paused,  bowed formally to his friend and offered his gratitude in flawless Mandarin.

Wufei’s smile was slight, but there was amusement and hope in his eyes. In Duo’s version of American, he replied, “Yer fuckin welcome.”

Duo shivered. All he had to do was break into what was probably one of the most secure facilities in the history and confess his undying love to the man most likely to be King Arthur and hope he wasn’t really hoping for a Guinevere.

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