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fic: Silent Flowers

Silent Flowers
by Max

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing

Notes: Heero POV, Injured Duo, set after the wars by a decade

I loved him then - in the wars. I didn’t know how to label the feeling then. I remember him so vividly from those times.  It was in those moments of falling in love with him that I came to be actually alive. He was so angry then - wild grinning sweetly one moment and acidic death the next.

My god, I was so young and feral like a bit of viciously aimed shrapnel. Before him, I really wasn’t much more than bio-matter shrapnel - then one day he smiled at me - oh my god - that smile. Suddenly violet was my favorite color, when I hadn’t even understood the concept of having a color preference before that moment. My heart beat so quick that a decade later - thinking of that moment and that smile - my heart still beats faster. Maybe love is a little like a virus and with that smile some part of him wrote itself into my being.

I miss his voice when I think about that smile. He used to talk so much, especially after that smile, to me, when we were alone. He said, once, that I smiled back after that one smile. HE said it was the first time he ever saw me smile and maybe a bit of me wrote into him in that moment as well. We were an us from that smile forward. We’ve been apart physically, but never in our hearts, not since that one moment.

The last real physical separation is where I lost his voice, where I lost so much.

The argument was stupid. I don’t even remember what it was about. You’d think I would, considering how expensive it was to me.

We were both with Preventers, but it was nearing the end of that era. Neither of us were good at taking orders. I compared myself to shrapnel, not a bullet.  Both will tear a target up, but one is a hell of a lot easier to aim. I’ve never been aimable.... just drawn to him and maybe to some sense of making things better in the world.

It was three months before I saw him again.

The first couple hours after he stormed out were a relief.

The fight was over.

We’d work it out when he got back.


He didn’t come back.

I tried to resist searching for him as darkness fell, but failed.

I searched.

I tried to make Preventers search.

Une said he’d likely just left me.

I quit.

Three months.

I think the moment I found him sitting on our back steps, dried blood everywhere, a glaze to his eyes that I’ve no idea how to clear.

I held my hand out. He reached for my hand and just like that first smile, we were together.

Maybe we’re a bit of a monster. I don’t care whose blood that was, as long as it wasn’t his.

He followed me into our house. He’ll turn and listen when I speak. I know he can hear me. I know he understands me.

That moment when our door closed and he leaned against me, dry lips touching mine and my soul woke from a terror coma, when breathing felt good again because his breath touched mine, and holding him tight, I could feel the thump of his heart against my being, that moment is another of those moments that defines my being.

To say I love him is to say I am alive. His being and my being are blended, trellis and vine, moon and tide, and there is nothing I would not do for him.

I don’t know where he was or what happened or why he doesn’t speak and more.

“You understand,” Heero said softly.

Standing inside the living room in a house on L2, watching through the broad window into a garden of thousands of flowers and plants, a botanical garden in a small space, with abundant natural lighting and powerful privacy protectors, Heero  watched Duo sketch some roses, sitting cross legged, his braid pooling on the bench behind him. Standing next to Heero, a young Preventer officer, nodded, face grave, muscles tight.

“I understand. You don’t want to know.. what we found?  If there is a proper investigation, it is likely we’ll find that he’s a hero. There’s a dozen witnesses that say he rescued them.”

Homicidal calculations flicked through Heero’s mind, but only the very slightest microexpressions reached his face.  “Evidently, you don’t understand. I don’t care how many bodies you found in that building or how many witnesses you have. Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell do not exist officially anymore. I understand that you’re claiming to be a close genetic relation to him, even if you are, as you say, a brother, to Duo Maxwell, and that’s how you got the L2 government to let you in here, you’re going to let this go, going to do anything you need to do to make sure that no one finds us. If you want to claim him as a brother, that seems like the very least you can do.”

The younger agent, who looked so much like Duo that he could have passed for him if there wasn’t close scrutiny, shifted, hands pressed into his pocket, perhaps consciously mimicking known Duo mannerisms to minimize the possibility that Heero was going to kill him dead.  “Shouldn’t you let him make that choice? I want to meet him.”

“If you wanted to meet him, you should have come as a family member, not as a Preventer Officer.  I’ve been very patient. We’re very happy here. We don’t want to be found. Are you going to accept that or am I going to have to kill you?” Heero smiled, mimicking Duo’s smile as a way to let the other man know he wasn’t taken in by the cute Duo behaviors and that there was real and deeply imminent danger.

“I don’t think you’ll kill me,” Robert said, holding up his hands in surrender. “I will protect your privacy. I’ll make sure that the investigation closes. I’ve spent years investigating this. I’ve spent years trying to find him, and you. When you disappeared, I know in my gut that he was back. I think he’s a hero. I don’t think you need to hide any more. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“By your account, he put 25 five bodies in consteel the night he came home to me,” Heero said. “Even if the Earthsphere wanted to count him as a hero for whatever happened, whatever happened in that time, took his voice, hurt him in ways I don’t know how to heal. You do anything to bring that back to him, and I’ll kill you in ways that you can’t know enough about to fear properly.”

“Maybe,” Robert said, lifting his chin, giving Heero the kind of violet eyed glare that only actual Duo had ever gotten away with before, “Maybe if you let him confront what happened, he’ll get more healing than sitting in that garden is going to get him.”

“You must be actually related to him,” Heero said without emotion. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll do as I say and kill you?”

“Fear?” Robert shrugged. “I’m not afraid of death. I’d be more afraid of not speaking my mind. Heero, look, I can leave Preventers. I can make sure, as good as I can, that no one else follows my path, but I want to know him. There’s a very solid chance that he’s my older brother.”

“Where the hell are his parents?” Heero snapped.

“I never knew them,” Robert said, “But I can give you the files about where I was found in cryo suspension. What do I need to so to not be a threat?”

“Did you really think you could intimidate me with Preventer credentials?”

Robert shrugged. “It seemed like a better idea before I got here.”

“Give me the files,” Heero said.

“I knew you won’t kill me,” Robert said, grinning, more genuine and eerily more like Duo when he wasn’t trying. “I’m sorry to bring you stress, Heero. I do understand that you love him and you’re protecting him.”

“He protects me,” Heero amended, thoughts going to that first kiss, to the return of his own life.

Duo looked up from where he was drawing, right back to the window where Heero stood. His smile was soft, gentle, face rounder, a little fuller than on the day he’d returned. Color brightened his cheeks, darkened his lips. He only seemed to see Heero in the window, even though Robert was completely visible as well. Robert smiled, waved.

His movements were graceful, braid swinging as he stood and tucked his pencil behind his ear.

Then there was another smile and to Heero that smile was the start of the world all over again.  His heart raced and confusion clouded his mind. He didn’t know what to do.  He didn’t know how to deal with a man claiming to be Duo’s brother or how to move forward. That moment of confusion lasted long enough for Duo to enter through the kitchen.

Robert stepped back, curiosity, and a little awe one his face.

Duo’s fingers brushed over Heero’s face, bringing calm, peace. Fingers spotted with paint, stained with colors, brushed through Heero’s hair. Blue eyes softened to an innocent trust. They leaned together, foreheads touching for a moment, before Duo wandered back towards the kitchen.

Heero’s smile was still soft, still innocent and firmly in that moment. “Duo says you can stay for lunch, but you must not put us at risk.”

Finally a bit of actual fear flashed over Robert’s face. “He doesn’t speak?”

“No,” Heero said, but he was thinking about how Duo was his silent flower, the center of all the universe.


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