fic: Christmas Commitments 1/1

Christmas Commitments
by Max aka Pinkwhirlwind

Disclaimer; I don’t own Gundam Wing, or Christmas

Notes:  R+1, implied, 1x2x1

There's a comic to go with it, which I'll post in a moment.




I have always loved Christmas. When I was a child, I saw only hope and charity, the bright beautiful lights. Zechs talks, sometimes, about when I was very little. He has a photo of me with Christmas lights on my head, posing like I was a princess.  I guess, on that day, I was a princess. Princesses always get happily ever after.

It’s funny how the things that were so perfectly obvious when we were younger look like so much tinsel and cheap smiles when we are older.

Heero Yuy is the most beautiful person in the world. It’s not just that his eyes are blue like a summer that never ends. Before I met him, I never fancied Japanese hair that is so stiff and stubborn, standing this way and that because it wills, but now, I can not imagine not feeling happy every time I see hair like that.

We’ve been married for five years. He’s kissed me once, the day we married.

I thought he needed time. I thought that If I felt so strongly that I could heal his broken heart.

He married me because I promised I could heal his heart.

I think he has forgiven me for that broken promise. It isn’t that I didn’t try. It’s just that I know where his thoughts go when his mind wanders. I know him so well.  I know myself better now. I know what I can and can’t do.

Relena tipped the candle, spilling royal purple wax on the back of the envelope before setting her seal in it. Dressed in black velvet, black pearls laying perfectly around her neck, dark toffee colored hair pulled up into a swirl of updo, so leaned a little closer and blew gently on the wax to cool it.  Within was the one thing she had never thought she’d ever want to pull from her most secret treasure drawer.

“Relena,” Heero said, stepping into her dressing room.  He wore a perfectly tailored tuxedo, his hair neatly styled, blue eyes only slightly bored. “If we leave now, we will likely arrive on time.”

The Winner Christmas party was a select affair.  Each year Duo’s presents and invitations were set on a table off to the side of the tree, neatly arranged, as if he might walking at any moment.
Relena stared at herself in the mirror, set the blue linen textured envelope down on her jewelry tray so that she could touch the dark pearls that the Winners had given her the year before.  She stared at herself and for the first time in sometime, she really liked herself. Smiling, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and picked up the envelope. “Heero. You know I love you, right?”

“What have I done,” he asked softly before sighing.

“No. It’s not something you’ve done. I just love you. I want to give you your best gift now, if I may.”

His nose wrinkled just slightly, very briefly. “I enjoy the ritual of the gifts at Quatre and Trowa’s home.”  

She knew that was mostly true. He prefered not to have intimate exchanges with anyone. “In this case, I really must insist.”

“I have nothing to give you in this moment,” he said, chin lifting defiantly.

And how she saw what she’d done, what her best intentions had done. “I had a dream last night. I dreamt that you and I had children,” she held up her  black satin gloved hand, preventing him from interrupting her. “It was such a lovely dream.”

“You do not need my... participation... to become pregnant.”

“I know. It wasn’t about the simple act of reproduction. It was about family. I realized that ... well, never mind. It’s not what I realized, really. I know what you really want.”

“I want what we have. The world is peaceful.”

“Some lies are so well known they are hard to see for lies,” she said, holding out the envelope.

“What is it?”

“It’s a gift. Open it. It’s the last thing Duo gave me before he left.”

Heero’s hand snapped out, and the envelope was all that connected them for such a small moment, both their hands on expensive paper wrapped around the concept of a braided, violet eyed man that neither of them probably understood properly.

And there was the light in Heero’s blue eyes, the light of life that Relena had longed for  - for so many days.

He popped the seal, and from inside he pulled a small handwritten note on the back of one of Relena’s business cards from years ago.  The writing was obviously Duo’s, but there was just an address. “What is it?”

“Right before he left, he told me he had to go because he couldn’t be just friends, that he wanted more than that from you, but he couldn’t bare just being friends. I knew  you would miss him, so I begged him to give me a means to contact him. He said to only give that to you - if I knew there was no other way.”

Anger in blue eyes was so much better than empty nothing. “I have searched.... everywhere.”

Relena’s eyebrow shoot up. “Evidently not. I expect he may be waiting for you at that address, unless he’s moved on. I will convey your regrets to the Winners. My attorney says we may have an annulment, as we have never been intimate. I shall send the papers to that address. Merry Christmas, Heero.”

“Why,” he asked, the envelope dropped, but Duo’s address tight in his fingers, gripped as if he’d never let it go.

“Because I love you. It’s Christmas and I want us both to be happy.”

<><>

No one said a word when she showed up alone at the Winner’s.  Though after dinner, after several glasses of champagne, when she wrapped Christmas lights around her head like a tiara and sang karaoke, Quatre got the idea that things were never going to be the same, that it was likely to be an excellent new year.

<><>

Heero didn’t bother changing his clothes. Even on Christmas evening, he could get flight clearance. It took him an hour from their house until the taxi let him out on a quiet street in Seattle. The street was only lit by the full moon, but Heero didn’t need more than that when a slender man locked up a cafe. The streets were wet with rain and the cab driver offered to stay, but Heero waved him off, not caring to ever leave this place again.

Duo looked up as he dropped the cafe’s keys into his pocket, probably drawn by the taxi on the otherwise empty street.

To Heero he was the most beautiful source of life on a holiday about light and redemption and things that Heero couldn’t seem to understand properly.  Duo was taller, face lean, the moonlight shadows marking the curve of his nose, the curves of his lips, and Heero though the could count a rapid pulse at his best friend’s throat, rising pulse, and suddenly Heero was afraid that Duo would run again.

“Wait! Duo!” Heero held out his hand, emotion on his face, and if Duo had been about to run or not, he stood, pinned and locked with Heero as the distance between them shrank. When he was close enough, Heero took hold of Duo’s arms, feeling  the warmth and hardness to him, the real humanness in his hands, making the world real again, real when it hadn’t been real at all without Duo. “I love you.”

“Heero,” Duo said, voice deep, rough, emotional and strained. “I’m.... come find me tomorrow. I’ll try to explain...”

“It doesn’t matter! You love me. I know you do,” Heero said, willing his words to be true as he pulled Duo to him with more need than grace. Their lips touched and for a moment it was awkward, blue and violet eyes staring into each other like accidentally hitting the light switch in a movie theater, not quite sure what happened, not sure how to process. Then those violet eyes closed and the kiss became real. Duo’s fingers combed into Heero’s hair, needing him, holding him. Their tongues made promises and told secrets and swore to love forever.

The kiss became a hug, Duo holding him tight, clinging to him.  His lips, still wet with their kiss whispered, “I do love you, Heero. You and only you, forever.”

Heero lifted him from his feet for a moment, feeling a kind of joy he hadn’t even known was possible, like finding home for the first time. “Merry Christmas!”

“Heero,” Duo whispered, pain in his voice, “I’m sorry...”

Heero’s eyes had been closed when Duo’s words, his breath, his warmth became the brush of strange silk. Heero’s eyes snapped open and he cried out. Black wings brushed over his face, against his arm as he reached. The swan’s wings beat the air, lifting him, and Heero was sure he’d died...somewhere in the night he’d died. All the joy he’d felt tore from him and he’d have screamed if there had been breath to scream with. Duo was gone.. if he’d ever been there at all and the only being to share that space with him was a grand black swan.  Breath never came as he reached, his entire soul reaching for that which was his love, his mate, his source of intimacy and home.  Fingers feathered, desire rippling over him and he leaned into it, arms pushing at the air, driving up towards Duo, who he so knew and craved and understood. The black swan called him and he called back in a new language, a voice he’d never had before and had now only because love remade him.  The new form gave him a feeling of power and speed that no machinery had ever given him. The rain and the moon and Duo.. and the city didn’t matter... only being together mattered.  They had always been mean to fly.  Black and white, wings outstreched, drinking in the moon and the freedom of forever together.

<><>

When he woke, he was hungry beyond what he’d ever known. There had been times in his training and in the war when he’d gone days without food, weeks on emergency rations, but hunger had never been this powerful. He was so hungry, food was more important than Duo or finding out where the hell he was, until Duo came back into the room, carrying a plate of food that was a whole Christmas dinner. His braid swung over bare skin, and Heero knew.. he was in Duo’s room, Duo’s home, now his home, and there would be time to understand everything.

“Hey! Heero! I bet you’re hungry! I’m always ravenous after the full moon! OH my god you’re so beautiful! I hope it didn’t hurt! I never hurts when I transform. My god! I so didn’t expect to see you! Merry Christmas!”

Heero’s heart swelled, smiling awkward, but right. He reached out to caress Duo’s face, moved to kiss him tenderly. “I love the sound of your voice. You have no idea how much I missed you.”

“Oh, I expect I got some idea.” Duo’ kissed him back, but then there was food. So sitting there naked in bed, they had the best Christmas ever.

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