Pen Names and faith
People are throwing eggs at Justin Bieber.
What is wrong with people?
What is wrong with people?
I've flopped around about having a pen name.
I've worried that if I wanted to be a fancy historian that writing pharaohs banging slaves on the Nile would hurt my credibility.
I've worried that writing m/f (which I'm complete shit at) would hurt my 'brand'.
I've worried that accusations of plagiarism against a former writing partner hurt me.
I've worried that I'm not really Nix. I'm Duo and I'm Youji... to use the name Nix unsettles me... forces me into being something that I'm not always.
There was this jerk from my past... a beautiful man, probably the best m/f sex I've ever had and it came with the biggest price tag ever too. I knew him when I was in the army and he came on my facebook page and wrote something really hurtful. I mean how is it my fault that his current wife doesn't like him talking to old lovers? After I covered for him the first time I started talking to him on facebook too.... and I just....
After he said that, I wanted to hide so far away from everyone. That someone I had once loved with all my being could as good as call me a whore in public because he didn't get what he wanted out of me.... Sebastian Blade could write, but I wasn't going to.
And I am multiple. I'm Duo... as I write this article, with a bit of snarky Youji making comments over my shoulder. There is a Nix, but she doesn't really want much to do with any of this today. Most days.. I'm the one that wants things and the name I've picked for myself comes from an anime character. It's not really a polite name that one ought to be using.
So I've picked Faith Luna to be my pen name. My website is faithinthemoon.com If there is a religious symbol that I really like it's the moon. So when I sign my name Faith... it's talking about faith in all that I am, all the selves, all the muses, all the love I've sent out into the world with good intentions no matter the outcome.
I had a character named Faith.. I have a character named Faith, really. I need to get his story done.
One of the most pivotal moments of my life was found in living out his life. So in this story he's given all he can give and then some for his lover, he is utterly ruined physically (nothing he can't heal from) emotionally... he's just finished.... he fought so hard to have what he had, to protect his family, his life... For reasons neither he nor I are able to understand, his lover is not able to come to him, to comfort and celebrate his heroics... those same heroics just made his lover mad. The prize his lover gave him was not the same family and life that he'd been fighting for, but something new and different, lovely in it's own way, but not what he'd wanted to defend and protect.
So as he's laying there in his bed, hating the hell out of the world and everything in it... he realizes what it is that does make him happy... and then he goes and does what makes him happy.
What makes me happy is learning and writing.
If those fancy historians don't like my theories and papers because I write yaoi erotica, can't decide who I am, dye my hair pink.... well, they can sod the hell off. I'll still write. I'll still do the things I love.
And to that boy who thinks I slept with all the whole army base... you know what? I kind of wish I had. But to make up for it... I'll see you on the screens of kindles around the world. Have a great summer! *evil grin*